polyamory

 And I apologize in advance for not knowing the correct terminology to use here (please feel free to educate me). When I say transitioning to an "open" relationship, I mean any relationship that previously involved two people as a monogamous couple, where now one or both parties is able to engage in a physically and/or emotionally intimate relationship with one or more “new” people outside of the previously established relationship. For the purposes of the questions I’m about to ask, this definition doesn’t apply to a couple which has jointly taken on a third party (or another couple) to be added to their existing relationship (but I welcome responses from people of all experiences).

CINEKINK NYC - CALL FOR ENTRIES

 "The really alternative film festival"

February 26 - March 2, 2008

Presented by CineKink, an organization dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television, CineKink NYC is seeking films and videos, of any length and genre, that explore and celebrate the wide diversity of sexuality. We're looking to blur some boundaries and will be considering offerings drawn from both Hollywood and beyond, explicit or not, with works ranging from documentary to drama, camp comedy to hot porn - and everything in between.

From the Polyamorous NYC web site: http://www.poly-nyc.com/prideparty/index.html

All Poly and Poly friendly people are invited to participate in this truly special, unique event. It will be an unparalleled opportunity for people from all over the country to gather and publicly celebrate polyamory. The main rally in Central Park will feature a full day of speakers and performers that will entertain, engage, and inform.

For info check out  http://www.poly-nyc.com/pride.html

As a firm believer in the tenet that the human animal, such as we are, is not - nor was ever - geneteically predisposed to be monogamous, I am nevertheless a proponent of responsible non-monogamy as opposed to gratuitous, anonymous sexual encounters. While each may have its place, the former allows for the development of stronger and more vibrant relationship between partners who are on the same or similar pages when they embark on this journey.

As the host of a group that currently has 3000 sexually explorative member couples, I have been witness to most everything, bad and good, that might present itself in situations of this sort. I have seen couples blossom by coming out and opening themselves up to sexual exploration with others. Generally, these are couples with already strong bonds that are looking to expand their horizons by including others in their sex play - be they one time encounters or ongoing intimate relationships.

I see some comments suggesting polyamory as an "ideal" that should be taught instead of monogamy. One of the dangers of "millenarian" thinking is the notion that some new "ism" will be "the answer" for all our problems. Whether Communism, Free Love, Scientology or now polyamory, the same promises of a universal answer to our problems deludes us into thinking we can tell the world how they should live.

People, let's be grown up about this and stop thinking for our fellow men and women. Monogamy works fine for millions of people around the world. It's like saying "I have a peanut allergy so let's ban peanuts." If monogamy doesn't work for you (and it doesn't for me), fine, but don't try to raise up polyamory (with its many problems and issues) as a false answer.